So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
