but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
