Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
