I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it's great music for shaving your balls
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
