So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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