ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
