So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
