Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize