Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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