do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
