i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
