what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
