This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
