I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
did you just send me my own nude
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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