i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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