so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
