where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
