Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
