The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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