You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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