i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
