Whod you bang
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
