He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
