I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
