so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
