Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
