Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
