so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
