If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
