you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
