craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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