How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
