We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
