talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
