How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
