doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
