so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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