I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
