is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
