I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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