She is in my trunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
