apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
