girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
