note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
