I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
