....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
