I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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