dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
