Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
