Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Never underestimate the power of titties
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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